There are very few elements of your wedding planning that The Angels Events cannot do for you, however writing your personalised wedding vows is one of them.

And although we cannot do this for you, through our wealth of experience we can help you.

We have put together our top tips to write personalised wedding vows that are the perfect blend of romantic and emotional, yet light enough that you make it through each word without crying so hard that your partner does not actually get to hear your vows.

First things first you need to check with the person conducting your ceremony whether writing your own wedding vows is even possible by finding out how much, if any, of your vows can be personalised. This will vary depending on where you have chosen to get married and how religious your ceremony is set to be.

Once you have the green light to go ahead with personalised vows, we suggest that you take some time to chat this through with your partner and make sure you are both on the same page on the following two points.

Some people are born public speakers – always ready to stand centre stage, while others prefer to watch from the side-line. Remember that if one of you does not feel comfortable writing and performing personalised vows this is no reflection on, or a measure of, your love for one another. For some simply repeating the vows written for you in front of your nearest and dearest is a daunting enough task in itself. So just check-in with your partner and ensure you are both comfortable with this decision. Just because you can write your own wedding vows, does not mean you have to.

If you agree that you are going ahead with writing your own vows and come your wedding day one of you assumes the role of a Seventeenth Century poet while the other performs something that resembles Jimmy Carr’s latest stand-up set, you are both going to feel pretty uncomfortable. Establish some basic ground rules on the general vibe and length of your vows, then you are all set to grab your pen and paper.

Start by writing a structure to help you gather and shape your thoughts in a succinct way.

We suggest starting with your journey as a couple to date. Spend some time reminiscing about the most special moments that have led you and your partner here. Hopefully by doing this you should be feeling all of the feels, and this will put you in the best headspace to write about how you feel, how they make you feel, how being around them impacts your life, and how that betters you as a person.

We all speak different love languages. Whether you are someone who expresses their love through acts of service, positive words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time or receiving gifts, this is the perfect time to acknowledge all of the ways that you promise to love your partner. Consider not only how you love, but how your partner wishes to be loved. Show them that you see and understand them, and express through your vows that even if you are speaking different languages sometimes, you will spend your life loving them.

If you have children, either together or from a previous marriage, referring to them in your vows is a really special way of reinforcing and solidifying you as a family unit, not just as a newly married couple.

Consider your future and how you intend to love and support your partner through the ups and downs of life. Traditional vows are impactful and written this way for a reason. Use those original words to help you consider how you plan to deal with both the good and bad that life throws at you, together; “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”.

Finally, you cannot go wrong by telling your partner that you love them. You can keep it short and simple with those three little words, or you could add two or three reasons why you love them to really round up your vows.

Keep it personal. Personalising your vows is a way of adding your personalities, both individually and as a couple, into your wedding ceremony. Write the words that come naturally to you. Do not over think this – speak from the heart using your own tone of voice and your partner will love every word. Read blogs, poems, and other vows to gather inspiration if you need it, but just be sure to deliver your words in a way that reflects you. You are, after all, the person your fiancé wants to marry.

Try not to overshare. There is a fine line between writing vows that show your commitment to one another by sharing snippets of heart-warming memories that got you to your wedding day; and writing vows that include a little more personal insight into adversity and challenges that you have faced together than your partner wishes to share.

Remember that this is not your wedding speech, (which if you have chosen to do a speech will come later in the day), and therefore your vows are not intended to assume the style of a roast. A playful comment here and there is absolutely okay – it is always nice to make your partner and guests smile through your vows (especially for your photographer!), however be sure to keep in mind that this is the serious part of the day. Make some real deep and meaningful promises to your partner that they will treasure forever.

Be mindful to not include too many ‘had to be there’ moments or in-jokes unless you are happy to have a sea of bemused faces looking up at you. If you feel you have more that you want to share with your partner than seems appropriate during your ceremony, perhaps write a letter for your loved one to read pre-wedding in their own time and space, or share a private intimate conversation later in the day.

Once written, keeping your vows a secret until your wedding day is a big ask. They are a beautiful gift for not only your new husband or wife, but also all those who are attending your big day. Try your best not to give anyone a sneak peek!

Do not drive yourself crazy trying to memorise every word. Although we would recommend reading your vows through several times (out-loud ideally) before the big day, we often have our client’s vows printed onto personalised stationery for them to read from on the day. These cards also make a beautiful keepsake long after the wedding has passed.